Flight delays, touts and miscellaneous hazards

The cheapskate's guide to travelling in India:

1) Take photos of those dressed in ethnic clothes from a distance because those in any clothes with any hint of their ethnicity will ask you to pay for pictures.

2) Bolt out of the toilet once you have finished your business. Do not make a pit stop at the washing basin because that's where the ravenous toilet attendants will prove impossible to dodge. These ravens will shove towels/paper into your face in double-quick lightning time but stare at you at the longest time should you fail to offer a shred of rupiah behind...

3) Take Air India. Flight delays confirmed. Not just once but a few times, especially when you have connecting flights to take. Pray it exceeds the minimum you need to claim from your insurance company. The price to pay for this is minimal: just a little bit of annoyance from looking at the stock market-like flight times on the departure screen flicker (towards later and later times) a few times... and oh, by the way, you can also miss your flight by neglecting to ask for a stamp on your baggage tag when the screening staff conveniently forgets to do so after X-raying your stuff.

4) Same as 3 but claim under something different. Due to the exquisite piloting skills, besides the usual ringing in the ears in some other air trips, your jaws will hurt too, experiencing the much-spoken about but rarely literally experienced "jaws drop" effect. Claim for dental expenses.